


Baby's First Word

by neddietrix



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe, Civilian AU, random crap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-16 11:34:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2268177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neddietrix/pseuds/neddietrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what you get when you force a kid to say their first word.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby's First Word

Barbeques in summer were a sacred tradition and were to be done every year for fear of the wrath of the gods of summer, at least thats what York said every single year. No one has bothered to complain since the party five years prior when York went on a drunken rant to South that ended with him in his own pool with no pants. 

Wrath of the summer gods indeed. 

At first it had just been a few of them, they had been in the same platoon stationed together and had gotten the nickname Freelancers. When the war ended and they all somehow managed to survive with only a few injuries and scars they had all agreed to stick together. Moving to a town in the middle of bumfuck nowhere had been Niner’s suggestion, and they had put it to a vote. 

So the Freelancers all found houses or apartments in the city of Blood Gulch, California. They rooted themselves and slowly readjusted to civilian life, it was easier for some than others. Florida managed to find a way to open his own cafe, where he worked with Wyoming and North. Washington and Maine found a tiny apartment next to the library where they volunteered. York, Connie, and South started working for a construction firm. Niner took to training to be an EMT. Texas and Carolina joined up with the town’s firefighters, which surprised none of them. Soon after York declared that regular parties at his house was mandatory. 

So for a few years they gathered together as a small group of vets, and drank a few beers. Then Tex brought a boyfriend with her to a party and everything slowly started to grow. When Church joined the picture of being a regular at ‘Freelancer Events’ it opened the floodgates to others finally breaking into their little world. Caboose soon joined the picture, he had become somewhat of a charge to Tex and Church, who both knew that Caboose was probably as close to having kids as they would ever come. He fit in strangely well with the group, bouncing his never ending optimism and naivety off of Florida’s constant happiness. 

After long the others brought friends or co worker’s with them to the parties. Donut had been working for Florida, who had started going by his last name of Flowers again, had managed to convince his friend who worked with Niner at the hospital to come by. Doc brought with him a lady who everyone called Grey. Carolina and Tex brought their fellow firefighters Locus, Sarge and Lopez. Simmons had been working with Washington and Maine when they mentioned the gatherings, and he came along with his boyfriend Grif. Who’s sister came because...no one really knew how she found out or why she came. Locus brought with him his friend’s Felix and Kimball, who both knew Wyoming’s old friend Doyle. 

It was a nice surprise for the brit when his old mate showed up in York’s backyard, though several members of their group had been paid off not to mention it to him beforehand. 

And after much convincing, or bribing depending on who you ask, Church got his friend Tucker to join them as well. It had seemed complete then. 

It had been a few years since then, and the group still went strong and still had a bunch of parties, though sometimes a few members of the group couldn't make it or just didn't want to go. The beginning of summer barbeque was a different matter though, it was according to York, a sacred thing. Everyone in their now large group made sure to take time off and be there. Some of their best memories and drunken stories came from that particular annual event. 

There were heartwarming memories, like the many proposals over the years or when Kimball had shown up to one year’s party with four small children in tow. She hadn't mentioned it to anyone that she had been in the process of adopting the four kids. Her three sons and daughter took a liking to Caboose, Tucker, Simmons, and Grif almost immediately. Much to Tucker’s disdain at the time. 

Though everyone had agreed that the best moment, that had been captured on video thanks to Flowers who seemed to always have a camera nearby, was when Tucker’s son Junior said his first word. 

=======

The noise from the backyard could be heard all the way down the driveway, carried by the soft wind through the otherwise quiet night. Tucker, Maine, and Washington had been running late so they had to pull in behind South and Connie’s truck in York’s yard. 

“Hey Jude, help me with the car seat.” Tucker said and Washington moved to get their chairs and cooler and Maine helped Tucker unstrap the excited toddler from his car seat. When he was free he moved to Maine’s arms, who in turn swung him up to rest on the tall man’s shoulders. Tucker watched them warily, Junior loved to be up high so he could see everything it made him nervous due to Maine being a few inches over six feet.

“You’re going to make him have a heart attack, Maine.” Wash’s voice came from the rear of their SUV, the body soon following. David looked between his boyfriend and his roommate and chuckled “Let’s just get everything to the backyard before York decides we’re late enough and sends a search party.” 

The three men and the toddler wandered from the yard turned parking lot around the house until they were bathed in the lights emanating from the back yard. Their friends already milling about with beers in hand, Kimball’s kids could be seen running between the adults every now and then. 

“About time you lazy dicks showed up!” South’s voice was their first greeting as she walked over to the three men, taking some of their things off of Washington. 

“Yeah, my fault. I was late getting back from work.” Tucker admitted as he set some chairs up next to one of the plastic tables. “Also I got a call from she-who-shall-not-be-named, and that took an hour to get off the phone.” He sighed as Maine patted him on the back one hand, holding securely onto Junior’s ankle with the other. 

The whole debacle with Junior’s mother was driving Tucker crazy and the whole group was supporting him in their own ways. Maine and Washington actually moved into his development house with him after Junior was born and soon after ditched by his hag of a mother. 

“The she-devil is still hanging around? I thought she skipped off to Atlantic City?” South raised an eyebrow, then looked to Wash for confirmation. 

“That’s where the call came from.” The blond man sighed “She wanted to know if she won money if she had to give some of it to Junior.” He rolled his eyes as South just shook her head. 

“What a piece of work that one is, I still think we should let Carolina and Tex carry out their offer of dealing with her.” She grinned wickedly at the three men, Wash looked approvingly at Maine and Tucker who both seemed to be considering it. 

“I heard my name, what are you delinquents talking about?” Carolina walked over to them, nodding in greeting to the three men and grinning up at Junior from his perch. 

“Just saying we should let you deal with the hag witch.” South nodded and turned walking back towards Connie, who appeared to be locked in a game of Dominos with Felix, York, Sarge, and North. 

“We arent going to kill Junior’s mother.” Washington said sternly and set a disapproving gaze on the other two. They all moved further into the party, Maine setting Junior down in a chair next to the dominos table. The toddler immediately got distracted by the adults moving the shiney little marble tiles across the surface of the table, North picked him up and put him on his lap. Tucker being able to relax since North decided to watch over Junior for a little bit, the man being one of the few of their friends deemed responsible enough to watch children. Only a handful of them held that title, Tucker being the newest to the group of responsible ones, since he was in fact a father. 

The party moved into its own rythm after Tucker, Wash, and Maine got relaxed. Washington wasn't drinking since he was gonna have to drive two drunk guys and a baby home later. They couldn't sleep over like they used to since they had Junior, but David didn't mind as much, he liked sleeping in his own bed instead of on a pull out couch.  
So he enjoyed as most of his friends got more drunk, Katie and her mom teaming up together at dominos as her brothers ‘discreetly’ checked what everyone else had.

It was quiet, and peaceful. 

Well it was, someone let Church hold Junior and the man was staring intently at the toddler. 

“Church are you trying to hypnotize my son?” Tucker asked, watching his best friend over his beer bottle, eyes going back and forth between the man and child. Junior didn't seem to mind Church’s gaze and just giggled and burbled at the man. He reached forward and gripped tiny fistfuls of Church’s beard, usually it would make Leonard yelp indignantly and quickly hand Junior off to someone else. This time it seemed to barely faze the green eyed man.

“Alison your husband is being weird at a baby, make him stop.” Donut’s call over to Tex caught all of the group’s attention as they turned to look at Church. Everyone seemed to all just want to watch and wait to see what the man or toddler would do. Sipping their drinks or biting into a chip or other snack was the only noise that had fallen over them all.

Finally Leonard opened his mouth slightly watching Junior “Say, Church.” Tucker raised an eyebrow, and the others seemed to just look at each other for a second “Come on bud, say Church.”

“Are you shitting me asshole?” Tucker questioned, not bothering the censoring considering how close to the border of drunk he was at, “You’re trying to get his first words to be your name?” Tucker was tempted to take his son from Church’s lap but decided against it.

“Yes, yes I am.” Church glanced at Tucker before returning his gaze to its previous spot “Say it little guy, say Church, Chhuuurrrrrrchhh” He innounceated the name carefully Junior made some noises that could be words, if he was an alien. 

This kid seemed to only communicated in blabbering or making random noises. His father and other two guardians seemed to understand the baby-speak just fine. It left all their friends dumbfounded and a little confused.

Junior patted Church’s faces a couple of times seeming to concentrate on forming the word that he was struggling with. His little fingers dug into the man’s beard again and held on with a surprisingly strong grip.

“This is the dumbest thing I have ever witnessed” Grif voiced his opinion his seat next to his husband, who immediately shushed the lazy hawaiian. Felix who was closest to them leaned over to Grif and said quietly   
“I bet you thirty bucks the kid doesn't say church.” the korean grinned at the hawaiian who considered before nodding. 

“I’ll put money on that, was the opposing bet?” Amazed by how fast had set up this betting pool, the man was like a fucking ninja when it came to getting him some cash. 

“About four people say he’ll say dad or something like that, the others all say he won't say anything.” Grif hummed and handed the man his bet, and Felix slipped away from him to whisper things to the others. Church was still prompting the littlest member of their ‘family’ to say his name, said person had scrunched his little face up and looked to be as deep in thought as a one and half year old could be. 

Finally his face relaxed and Junior grinned happily at Church and the observing crowd of party goers went silent, Flowers had his camera in hand and rounded around the table so he could film Junior and Church’s faces. His little dark hands smoothed out on Church’s face and seemed to pull him closer by an inch with a grin plastered on his face. 

“aaaaaaahhhhhh ssss hoolll” He tested out the word before looking pleased with his little triumph and saying again “ahhhsss hool”

“Did my one year old son just call you an asshole….” Tucker broke the silence, and soon burst into laughter. Loud guffaws that were soon joined by loud laughing. Tex was laughing as she came up and patted her boyfriend on his back, holding her gut as she tried to pull herself back together. 

“That kid is way smarter than we thought, he can already see and label an asshole!” Connie jabbed from her position on South’s lap, both women nearly choking on their drinks while they sipped and laughed. 

“I hate all of you.” Church glared and turned an annoyed gaze to Junior, who he soon dumped into the baby’s father’s lap. Tucker cradled Junior closer to him and had a mad shit eating grin on his face. 

“I have never been so proud in my whole fucking life.” Tucker chuckled and waved at the camera when Flowers had zoomed in on the two. 

 

========

 

Yes, they had a lot of great memories of times in York’s backyard, funny bets, stupid drinking games, and long nights spent on borrowed space inside the house. But no matter what they all agreed that the best instance was when their friend Leonard Church, extraordinaire, was called an asshole by a toddler.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in the middle of the night and i just...god why did i write this? 
> 
> because i thought it was funny thats why


End file.
